David and Jonathan

One of the biggest tragedies of the pride movement and all of this gay acceptance stuff is the death of true and meaningful male friendships. Now, before some intellectually dishonest social activist tries to tar and feather me for that comment, you need to chill and read the rest of the damn essay. Exercise some of that holy and sacred tolerance you’re always talking about. My stance on all of that is basically don’t sin and do on to others what you would want done onto you. If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with Jesus. Let me know how that goes for you.

So, as I was saying, one of the first victims of all of this pride stuff was male friendship. As soon as being gay came into the mainstream, male friendships started to make their exit. Presumably because most guys were scared of being called gay on account of being close with their other male friends. This is really kind of a bummer because a high-quality male friendship is kind of magical. They’re often also borderline gay as well, hence them being driven out of society. A good male friendship wouldn’t be immediately distinguishable from a gay relationship.

The relationship between David and Jonathan in the Bible is one of the best examples of a true male friendship.

David and Jonathan’s friendship started out like most male friendships. In the aftermath of killing Goliath in 1 Sam 17, David talks to Saul. In 1 Sam 18, the Bible tells us “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” Jonathan had just seen David accomplish a mighty feat and he respected him as a result. Men typically don’t become friends with people they don’t respect.

Jonathan apparently loved David so much that he made a covenant with David. This covenant consisted of giving David his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt. To the casual reader, this seems like swearing an oath of fealty almost. It reads like Jonathan is saying to David that everything he owns is David’s as well. That’s how the friendship of Jonathan and David starts out. The Bible doesn’t give many other details about the matter.

In 1 Sam 19, we get into the part of the story where Saul is now trying to kill David. Here the text says that “Jonathan had taken a great liking to David” and on account of this, Jonathan warned David of Saul’s plot to kill him. Jonathan then went and spoke to Saul on David’s behalf. This actually worked and Saul took an oath not to put David to death. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long. Saul is pretty quick to break his oath. Shortly after this, we have the part of the story where David escapes with the help of Michal.

In 1 Sam 20, David talks to Jonathan, asking what crime he has committed that would prompt Saul to try to kill him. They have a bit of a dialogue at this point in the story. David tells Jonathan to kill him if he’s done something to deserve death. Jonathan swears to sound out Saul again to see if he is really trying to kill David once more. They swear a few oaths to each other, and the Bible explicitly says, “And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him because he loved him as he loved himself.”

Following this, Jonathan talks to Saul, and it doesn’t go well. Saul actually says to Jonathan, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the same of the mother who bore you? As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die!” Jonathan protests and Saul throws a spear at him. This makes it apparent to Jonathan that Saul is serious about killing David. The next day, Jonathan goes to warn David that he must flee. This is done by Jonathan shooting an arrow into a field as a sign to David that Saul does intend to kill him. The Bible describes their parting, “After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together, but David wept the most.”

After that, David went into hiding. He was hunted by Saul continuously. David didn’t see Jonathan again until they crossed paths while David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph. In 1 Sam 23, the Bible says, “And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David and Horesh and helped him find strength in God. ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.’” David and Jonathan made another covenant before God and then Jonathan left.

As far as I can tell, this was the last time that David saw Jonathan alive. In 1 Sam 31, Jonathan is killed in a battle with the Philistines. In 2 Sam 1, David gets the news of the death of Saul and Jonathan. After killing the messenger, David writes a lament concerning Saul and Jonathan. Verse 26 is interesting and says, “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.”

Later in 2 Sam 9, David keeps his covenant to Jonathan after he gets control of Israel. He finds Mephibosheth, a son of Jonathan, and gives him a seat at his table. That’s basically how the whole story wraps up. So now the question is, what can we make of this? I’ve seen people saying that Jonathan and David were homosexual, but we know they both had offspring so that means at best they could be bisexual, and most likely, they were just best friends. Friends closer than brothers.

You can kind of see this demonstrated at least by Jonathan. On several occasions, he risked himself interceding on behalf of David. The Bible kind of writes the friendship to be a bit one-sided. It seems like it is painting Jonathan to have liked David more than David liked Jonathan. Yet at the same time, David went out of his way to treat Jonathan’s son well despite a great personal cost. In that period, leaving alive the offspring of a rival dynasty was a great risk. Although Mephibosheth was a cripple, he still could have been a great threat to David’s reign. At the very least it seems like David must have reciprocated some of the feelings of friendship that Jonathan had.

Overall, it’s an interesting relationship to think about. Both Jonathan and David went out of the way for each other. That’s something that you have a hard time picturing in the modern era when high-quality friends are hard to find. Moreover, not a single mention is made of David or Jonathan doing something underhanded to harm the other. That’s the main beauty of their friendship. When you love yourself, you look out for your own best interests. When you love someone else as yourself, you look out for their best interests, even at the cost of your own. That’s basically what you see in this relationship. Jonathan looks out for David and David looks out for Jonathan’s offspring in lieu of being able to return the favor to Jonathan.

I would imagine that there were many nights in the decades after Jonathan’s death when David looked back and missed having him around. A friendship you miss is a friendship that was worth having.